spotted
by janemac24
Summary: When Cruella de Ville turns Robin Hood into a Dalmatian, Marian and Regina must team up to save him before he becomes a fur coat. Along the way, they get to know each other, and themselves, a little better. Maiden Queen one-shot.


**This is pure Maiden Queen crack, inspired by a lovely friend on Tumblr. Read at your own risk.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT, and any offense to Robin Hood or his fans is purely unintentional.**

* * *

><p>It's been close to a week since she's left the crypt, not that she's noticed. She's been far too busy listening to "I Will Survive" on repeat and setting things on fire and generally hating men. She should have realized that after all of her efforts to bring Robin Hood's wife back to life, he'd naturally wind up going back to her the second her soft and utterly kissable lips began to thaw.<p>

Not that Marian would let him kiss her – she has far too much backbone for such a thing. Instead, she has him following her around like a hurt puppy, begging for forgiveness at her feet. It's almost sexy, the way she has him wrapped around her finger now. He won't come crawling back to Regina, that's for sure. Robin likes a dominant lady and Marian is clearly on top.

How much whiskey has Regina had that she's suddenly thinking about Maid Marian on top of her? Or the kissability of her lips?

Her playlist switches over to "Stronger" and she's about to start the next round of fireballs when there's a knock at the door, so light she almost doesn't catch it. She quickly snuffs out the flame, turns off her iPod, and straightens her unwashed hair before opening the door to find that she's staring directly at those plush lips she's imagined burning off in so many of her revenge-filled dreams.

"Burning" in a figurative sense, of course; she's trying to cool it with the whole murder thing. Henry would be so disappointed. Besides, the lips in question are currently trembling under Marian's teeth as tears fall from her eyes, and Regina doesn't have the heart to kill a woman in such a sorry state. She likes a worthy opponent, after all.

"Marian, do come in," she says politely, standing aside so her former prisoner can enter. Someone (probably Emma Swan, based on the flannel) has helped Marian discard her ratty old cloak and pick out some modern clothing. Her jeans are nowhere near as tight as the Savior's, but they show off her muscular legs quite nicely. The fact that she's still wearing her weapons only adds to the appeal. "You're looking well; the Storybrooke fashion suits you," she mumbles before realizing she sounds ridiculous. That's it: no more whiskey.

"It was never my intention to come here," Marian says stiffly, still employing the formal speech of the Enchanted Forest. It's easy to forget sometimes that Marian had been a noble in her kingdom before running off to join a band of outlaws. Regina occasionally wonders if there's a story behind that. "But this is about Robin, he's..."

Marian is pacing now, wringing her hands anxiously. "He's unwell."

"It's flu season," Regina suggests. "Have you taken him to the hospital?"

Marian quickly shakes her head. "Not like that. You've heard of the new villain in town, I assume? Cruella de Ville?"

"Briefly." Snow had made it clear that Regina's help wasn't necessary, though, since Ms. de Ville was never known to be magical."

"She stole a spell from the Dark One – or she somehow acquired it; _he_ refuses to answer any of our questions. The spell can turn men into animals. Robin is now a Dalmatian."

Regina's first impulse is to laugh, until the fury in Marian's eyes lets her know that the situation is indeed serious.

"A Dalmatian? That's absurd."

"What reason do I have to lie?" Marian demands. "She's taken him into her lair at the edge of the forest. She's calling it the Dalmatian Plantation. I'm unsure how much time he has left before she slaughters him."

Regina is still so confused. "That's...terrible?" she comments.

"I was hoping you might help me rescue him. We've had our issues, but he's Roland's father, and I know you...I don't want to impose on you. I truly don't. But I had no one else to turn to."

"Isn't Snow White still the mayor?" Regina inquires. A rescue mission for a man-turned-puppy seems like it would be right up her former step-daughter's alley.

Marian sighs like Regina should know better. "She doesn't have magic."

"And the Savior?"

"Useless. I'm told her magic is supposed to be powerful, but poorly trained. Perhaps she doesn't know the proper spell."

"Perhaps," Regina mutters.

"So, you'll help me?"

"I never said that."

"Regina, I know that you and Robin...I know things ended badly. I'm sure that you felt used, after you did so much to save my life and got nothing in return. I'd understand if you don't want to help this time; you owe our family nothing. To be perfectly honest, I don't feel particularly compelled to save Robin either, after everything that's happened."

Regina stares, blinking, unsure if she's touched by the other woman's understanding or just emotional from the alcohol. "Then why do it?"

"Because...because however I may feel about what happened while I was frozen, the fact is that he didn't let me die, and I owe him at least that much. I owe my son that much. If I happen to kiss someone else in the process of saving him, well...I suppose that's just equality, isn't it?"

"Who – who are you thinking of kissing?" Regina stammers.

"I haven't decided yet, but that's beside the point. Will you help me?"

"I...I...yes," Regina finally answers, her mouth moving against her will. "For Roland. And...and because I suppose it's the heroic thing to do."

Marian seems satisfied with that answer. "Come quickly!" she orders. "I'll show you her lair."

Regina trails behind as they hike through the woods. For someone who was a block of ice less than a week before, Marian hikes quickly, practically galloping over puddles and roots like her feet are enchanted.

"You're certainly at home in the forest," Regina observes.

"I spent most of my adult life in the Merry Men's camp. We didn't have horse-drawn carriages."

"Fair enough."

They walk the rest of the way in silence (Regina notices with some embarrassment that Marian has slowed, probably for her benefit). As they approach the edge of a clearing, Regina can start to feel the prickle of magic in the air, and once they've passed through the trees, she sees it: a glowing protection spell surrounding an old farmhouse, blocking their access.

"Don't touch!" Marian orders, quickly drawing her bow. When she fires an arrow, it bounces off the barrier with an earsplitting bang, disappears in smoke, and materializes at their feet as a stuffed Dalmatian puppy. "That's what happens to inanimate objects that touch it. A live human, on the other hand -"

"Turns into a live Dalmatian?" Regina guesses, examining the stuffed dog. "Which, I assume, is what happened to Robin?" Marian nods, and Regina turns the toy over in her hands, still confused. "She didn't happen to mention _why_ she's doing this, did she?"

"Actually, yes. She wants a fur coat: white with black spots. And she wants it from Storybrooke because the SPCA - whatever that is - can't get in here."

"Of course," Regina mutters, rolling her eyes. Why hadn't she thought of that? What a rational reason to tear apart an entire town. Actually, as far as motives for villainy go, it's surprisingly pragmatic, but she gets the feeling that Marian might find such an observation upsetting.

"Can you take down the barrier?" Marian demands, and the abrupt question jars Regina back to reality. "If we can gain access to the farm, then we can rescue Robin and everyone else who's been transformed."

Absentmindedly, Regina asks, "There are others?" as she shoots a fireball at the barrier. It's immediately absorbed.

"I don't know."

"The barrier is strong," Regina reports. "It will require a great deal of magic, but it can be done. We need to ensure that Ms. de Ville is out before we storm the camp, though, or it will all be for nothing."

"And Robin?"

"Without understanding the nature of the spell, I can't say whether I can reverse it. But I'll try, for Roland."

As Regina speaks, she sees movement behind the barrier. A roly-poly Dalmatian puppy, tripping over its own feet, approaches them, whining slightly as it tries to jump at the barrier.

"I take it that's Robin," she observes, trying to conceal a chuckle when the puppy topples over and begins scratching behind his ear. "It would be a pity to allow such an adorable creature to be killed."

"Yes, I'd almost say the new form is an improvement," Marian jokes. But then she grows serious and informs Regina, "We _will_ save my husband. No one is going to kill him, except for me."

* * *

><p>"What exactly are we getting from your crypt?" Marian asks nervously as she follows Regina down the stairs. She's obviously anxious around magic, which Regina supposes is understandable given her recent experiences.<p>

"Something to help focus my power to take down the shield. It's an incredibly strong spell, so I'm going to need some help. Don't worry," she adds, when she sees the obvious fear in Marian's eyes, "as long as all goes according to plan, no innocent bystanders will be hurt. It's not a _curse_."

"If all goes according to plan – that doesn't exactly sound optimistic."

"Well, if you want hope and blind faith, get Snow White to help you."

"I don't," Marian says, voice firm in spite of her fear. When Regina turns from her rummaging to face the other woman, she's struck by the determination in her stance. "I want results. That's why I asked you."

"The woman who slept with your husband?"

Marian huffs and avoids Regina's eyes, shuffling her feet by the door with one hand on her sword hilt. "You're not the one who made vows to me," she growls, "and, all things considered, it was a marked improvement from things you've tried to do to me in the past."

Regina continues searching for the object – a box that can absorb the power of Cruella's barrier into a small area so she can destroy it more easily. She hopes that everything goes according to plan. Cruella doesn't have magic of her own, so while Regina is grappling with the spell, Marian should be able to take her down without much trouble. Then, they'll need to take Robin, get out...and that's where the trouble starts. They have to find a way to break the curse, and Regina isn't aware of any besides True Love's Kiss, which doesn't seem possible.

"Did you hear that?" Marian suddenly demands, drawing her sword.

"Probably the wind in the trees – don't worry, I have enough magical booby-traps to prevent any unwanted guests from getting below the first floor."

Marian nods, but she still seems jumpy, and she never relaxes from her fighting stance.

"You know how to sword fight?" Regina asks curiously. She'd known Marian was a skilled archer, of course, but no one had ever mentioned her fencing skills.

"In my kingdom, both girls and boys were taught basic weapons skills," Marian explains. "I practiced more than most."

"I suppose it must have been beneficial to you when you were living with the Merry Men?"

"Yes – and before, too. I ran away from home after my father decided I was to marry the Sheriff of Nottingham. I was living on my own in the forest for quite some time before I met Robin and the others, and I had to hunt and defend myself."

"Oh," Regina says, the word falling from her lips in a soft puff of air. She hadn't known this part of Marian's story – Robin, the few times that he'd discussed his wife with her, had always made it sound like she ran away to be with him, not to escape an arranged marriage.

She's often wondered what it would have been like for her, if she and Daniel had succeeded – if her mother hadn't had magic. She imagines her life might have turned out a bit like Marian's.

"Robin probably never told you how he and I met, did he?" she's asking now, sheathing her sword and settling in for a conversation.

"Just that you met on the road – you had run away from home and he was fleeing some kind of theft-gone-wrong."

"So he skipped the part where I bested him in a sword fight, of course," Marian chuckles. "I'm a woman of honor, so I refused to kill him, and he was so impressed with my skill that he invited me to join his ridiculous band of thieves. He didn't figure out I was a woman until a few days later."

Regina laughs. "I imagine that must have embarrassed him."

"Actually, Robin was probably the least upset. A few of the other men had some problems with it, but I quickly proved myself worthy."

"I'm sure you did," Regina says with newfound respect for the other woman. She'd seen Marian's bravery firsthand in the Enchanted Forest, but she hadn't expected her to have quite so much...well, swagger, as Henry would probably say. She's imagining Marian with her sword now, taking down challengers left and right, and all of a sudden, her normally drafty vault is feeling rather warm.

"Now they love women," Marian continues with another light laugh. "I'm told the warrior Mulan joined the group for a time before her mysterious disappearance. I would have liked to meet her. I'm told she saved my son's life." Then she abruptly shifts out of her pleasant storytelling mood and regards Regina with the utmost seriousness. "I'm told _you_ saved my son's life."

Feeling her cheeks grow inexplicably hot, Regina looks at her feet. "It was nothing," she demurs. "Any decent person would have done it." She waits for a response, but none comes. She finally glances up to see that Marian is staring at her, expression unreadable. "What?"

When Marian eventually speaks, her voice is soft and careful. "I was simply surprised. I wouldn't have expected such a statement to come from someone – the Evil Queen – who, if you'll forgive me, could hardly be described as a decent person."

"Yes, well, I've changed," she mumbles. "Some would even say for the better."

"You have," Marian immediately agrees, "and I'm very glad of it." Their eyes lock across the room, Marian's gaze so bright and sincere that Regina is half-afraid her entire soul is exposed. A queen never turns away first, but Regina has to look down before she crumbles under the weight of whatever it is that's in Marian's eyes, too heavy and too profound to deal with when they're in the midst of preventing a mass puppy slaughter in Storybrooke. Just as she thinks she's found what she's looking for, she hears Marian say, in nearly a whisper, "And Your Ma – Regina? Thank you."

"Where is that damn box?" Regina growls.

Marian's kind enough not to tell her it's in her hand, but her smirk says it all.

Thankfully, Regina is saved by her phone ringing. "Henry!" she exclaims, half in relief and half in anticipation. "Any news?"

"Mom, Cruella's leaving the ranch," he reports. "All systems are in order for Operation Fluffball, but you'll need to get here fast. Can you make it?"

"Um...roger that," Regina mutters, wondering how someone who fears magic as much as Marian does would take to being poofed over to Cruella's lair. Poorly, she assumes. "Let's go!" she orders, practically dragging the other women outside to the cemetery, where she flicks her wrist, causing a horse to materialize in a cloud of purple smoke in front of them. "You ride, I presume?"

Marian eyes the horse suspiciously and reaches out a hand to feel its substance. "Is it real?" she asks, hesitant even with its warm flesh under her fingers.

"He's very real," Regina confirms. "He's my son's horse – not that he's ridden in over a year. I merely used magic to bring him over here faster." She hops onto the horse's back and beckons Marian to join her, saying urgently, "We need to hurry; there's not much time."

Even as she obeys, mounting the horse with the confidence of a seasoned rider, she still seems slightly confused. "You ride bareback?" she questions, eyebrows raised practically to her hairline.

"It would appear so," Regina replies as she gives the horse – Applejack, as she affectionately calls him, though she's sure the idiot Charmings had given him a different name – a light kick to get him moving. "Does that surprise you? It's much more efficient."

"Of course it is," Marian immediately agrees, "when you're an outlaw living in the forest who's constantly on the run. But you were a queen, and I seem to remember you mostly traveled in your carriage."

Regina shrugs, nudging Applejack to a gallop. "That carriage was specially designed," she says proudly, "and I traveled as befitted my station. But before I was the queen, I was...well, I was simply a girl who loved horses and dreamed of running off with the stable boy." She turns to give Marian a wistful smile and adds, "Once the king proposed, of course, everything changed. My mother killed the stable boy, and -"

She's interrupted by a horrified gasp from behind her. "She did _what?_" Marian screeches.

She rushes to explain, "She couldn't understand love; she didn't have her heart," but she can sense Marian's doubt even without looking at her. Then she feels the other woman's arms, which had been holding lightly to her waist for balance, start to wrap around her and realizes she's being hugged.

"I'm sorry," Marian murmurs.

"That will be enough of that!" barks Regina. She's starting to feel uncomfortably warm again, and besides, they're almost at the Dalmatian Plantation. Marian quickly removes her arms just as Regina coaxes Applejack to a halt.

"What should I do?" she asks.

"Keep watch. When the barrier comes down, my energy will likely be drained, so rescuing Robin and whatever other puppies she's collected will fall to you. Do you think you can handle it?"

Marian nods briskly and crouches behind a tree near the road, bow and arrow at the ready, while Regina takes a deep breath and opens the box at her feet, channeling all of her power into the barrier. It's a risky business – the power comes from the Dark One, and unlike an ordinary magic user, his energy is limitless. The magic causes her entire body to tingle as it radiates out from her palms – her newfound light magic, which she knows is powerful but, since it's untrained, is more difficult to control than the darkness. Still she'll do what it takes for Robin, who despite his many flaws had helped her believe in herself again, and for Roland, the sweet little boy who's blameless in all of this.

But mostly, she thinks just before she gives over her consciousness completely to the spell, she needs to do it for Marian, who she's now realizing could be the friend and kindred spirit she's always longed for but never quite found.

Her head begins to feel like it's floating as she gradually loses sensation in her body, and the next thing she knows, there's loud yapping in her ear and a slobbery tongue on her face and someone shaking her shoulders.

"Regina? Regina!" she hears Marian's voice cry above her as a pair of watery brown eyes comes into focus. "Oh, thank the gods, you're alive!"

"Did it work?" she asks urgently, speech slightly slurred as she struggles to sit up.

"Yes, everything is fine – don't try to move yet. Robin's here, unharmed, and Henry called Prince Char – David – to take the other five puppies to the animal hospital. We think they might be dwarves. Grumpy says he and Doc haven't seen any of the others for days."

"Henry?"

"Right here, Mom," he replies, settling down next to them while absentmindedly dangling a stick that Robin happily nips at. "That was pretty cool, but don't do it again, okay?"

"Hopefully I won't have to. Cruella is –"

"Emma arrested her. We're trying to get Gold to talk, but it might be tricky because...well, you know, the whole Dark One thing. But we're hoping he'll at least tell us how to reverse the spell."

"Oh, I don't know," says Marian, laughing as Henry tosses the stick and an ecstatic Robin scampers after it. "Perhaps the spell doesn't need to be reversed. A puppy could be far more entertaining than a husband."

"Yeah, let's keep him like this," agrees Henry, who's now engaged in a fierce tug-of-war with the outlaw-turned-puppy.

Regina pushes herself up onto her elbows and tells Marian, "It's your call: he's your husband. Just say the word and I'll go back to the vault and search for a cure, but –"

She stops with a confused gasp as Marian, suddenly weeping, pulls her into her arms and shakes her head. "No, I won't allow you to put yourself in any more danger for my family. You've done more than you ever needed to; I can't think of how to repay you."

Puzzled, Regina remarks, "I thought I was the one repaying you – for imprisoning you and sleeping with your husband and possibly killing you in a different timeline."

"Perhaps we shouldn't think in terms of repayment," Marian says with a loud sniffle.

"And perhaps you should stop crying over the life of your enemy that was never in danger in the first place."

"You're not my enemy. When I saw you collapse, all I could think was –" (she pauses briefly to wipe her tears) "- all I could think was that I had just gotten to know you, that I had gained a new friend, and then I had lost you. And I thought it was just a cruel trick of fate, to finally show me the true colors of the Evil Queen and make me care for her only to take her away from me. I couldn't bear the idea."

The heat radiating from Regina's face down to the tips of her fingers causes her entire body to flush scarlet as she mutters embarrassedly, "Well, it appears you're stuck with me for quite some time."

She barely hears Marian's reply, wet and raspy and sobbed into the collar of her shirt. "I'm so glad."

* * *

><p>Robin squirms in Marian's arms, licking her face as they make their way back into town. David had offered them a ride, but Marian still distrusts this world's vehicles and Regina, for some reason, can't bring herself to leave the other woman's side.<p>

"Stop!" Marian protests. "That tickles. One more time and I'm not carrying you anymore." Robin follows his wife's orders but whines loudly while complying, with huge, sad puppy dog eyes staring directly into hers. "Stop that, too."

"How much of human speech do you think he can understand?" Regina wonders out loud. "Do we think the curse changed his mind, or just his body?"

Marian shrugs, shifting the puppy's weight over to her other side. "I'd imagine that when the Dark One does something, he does it all the way," she muses.

Robin barks once, as if in agreement, and they complete the hike in silence, both women lost in a storm of conflicting emotion. It's not until they reach the edge of the Merry Men's camp that Robin starts to perk up, recognizing the scent of his home and friends before their tents are even in sight.

"Mommy!" Roland exclaims, diving out of Will Scarlet's arms to leap at Marian. "And Regina! Why are you with Mommy? Where's Daddy?"

"Well..." Regina begins, but Roland is almost instantly distracted by the wriggling bundle his mother is carrying.

"Is that a puppy?" he asks in disbelief, and Marian nods as she sets Robin down on the grass, where he wastes no time in begging his son for a belly rub.

"Actually, Roland, we need to talk about something," Marian says seriously. "The puppy... the puppy is Daddy."

Roland's jaw drops, and he looks back and forth between his parents with confusion in his eyes. Then he turns to Regina, the only one with knowledge of magic, and demands, "How?"

"Um..." Regina falters, unsure how to explain such a thing to a kindergartner, but Marian jumps in, kneeling down to Roland's height so their gazes meet.

"I don't want you to worry about this, because everyone is safe now," she says quietly, stroking his cheek, "but do you remember that bad lady Cruella? The one with the fur coat that we met at the ice cream shop?" Roland nods, looking worried. "Well, she did it."

"But why would she want Daddy to be a puppy?" the boy whines, and then, light suddenly dawning in his eyes, he gasps. "She was gonna make a coat out of him!"

"She was," Marian confirms, "but she didn't, because Regina and I stopped her. She's in jail now, and all of the puppies are safe and healthy."

"Okay," he replies with a sigh of relief, scratching Robin behind the ears, "but what about Daddy? Is he going to be a puppy forever?"

Marian shrugs and looks to Regina to answer. "We're going to ask Mr. Gold," she tells him. "He made the spell, so we hope he knows how to break it." Thankfully, Roland seems to accept the answer, though he looks relieved and disappointed at the same time. "Maybe you should teach your father some tricks, Regina suggests. "Have your fun with him while he's still a puppy."

The visit to Gold only confirms what they already know: True Love's Kiss can break any curse, but absent the emotion, there's not much they can do. Marian tries it first, then Regina, and finally Roland, but Robin continues to bark and wag his tail.

"Kissing puppies is gross," Roland complains, wiping the slobber off his chin. "I'm not doing that again."

Marian sighs, shaking her head tiredly. It's been a long day. "Then I suppose Daddy will remain a puppy, and he'll come live with us in our camp," she finally says (not as sadly as one might have imagined for a woman in her predicament), before turning to Regina. "Unless...unless you think Henry would like to have a pet, too."

Eyes wide with horror, Regina quickly refuses. "Henry might like to have a pet, but I will not have a puppy living in my house."

_Particularly not a puppy that was once a boyfriend_, she adds internally, though she has a feeling that while Marian might agree with the sentiment, she wouldn't appreciate hearing it.

After a great deal of begging and cajoling from Henry, however, she relents, and they draw up an agreement for Robin to spend weekends in the mayoral mansion, where Henry will be the one tasked with taking care of him. "Puppies are a huge responsibility," Regina lectures her son, "and you will be doing _everything_."

"Yeah, right," laughs Henry, watching with amusement as Robin nips at Regina's feet, begging for attention. When the puppy rolls over and demands a belly rub, Regina finally heaves a frustrated sigh and bends over to appease him. She's still not quite over her anger at Robin the human, but she's willing to admit that Robin the puppy is adorable. It helps that he can't speak.

It's on the third visitation weekend that it happens. Roland and Henry are together in the yard, working on teaching Robin to play fetch (he's pretty decent at getting the ball, not great at giving it back), while Marian and Regina drink tea together on the back porch. "Well, we should get going," Marian finally says, standing slowly like she doesn't want to get going at all.

"You don't have to go just yet," protests Regina. "We'd be glad to have you stay for dinner."

However reluctantly, Marian refuses. "That would be lovely, but it's getting dark earlier these days, and with the array of villains materializing in this town, I'd like to –"

"Stay the night," Regina interrupts, surprising even herself with the offer.

"Excuse me?"

"It's a perfect solution. We have plenty of extra room, and you and Roland wouldn't need to walk home after dark. I'm making lasagna tonight, and Henry's been talking for a while about teaching Roland how to play video games. And anyway, I'm sure Robin would love to have both boys to play with."

"The mayor's famous lasagna? How could I refuse?" Marian laughs. "Fine, we'll stay the night. I'm sure the boys will love it."

_It's always "for the boys,"_ Regina thinks as she preheats the oven, one eye gazing out the window at Marian, who'd stayed outside to ensure "the boys" didn't get into trouble. Always for Henry, or for Roland, and now occasionally for Robin, whose transition from adult human to infant canine had resulted in a lot more neediness. Marian, like most of the players on the "hero" side, is entirely too selfless, and as Regina gets to know her better, she's realizing that it's part of what makes her special.

But it's also slightly saddening.

Just once, Regina wants to do something _just_ for Marian. Not for her son, nor her husband-turned-pet, nor the Merry Men whom - for some absurd reason - she insists on continuing to serve.

(And if whatever it is happens to benefit Regina, too, that's a price she's willing to pay. _She's_ a villain, after all: she doesn't need to be selfless.)

Later, after they've gorged themselves on lasagna and played hours of video games, after Marian has gone on several long rants about the lack of realism in Wii Archery, after the boys have finally fallen asleep, Robin sandwiched between Henry and Roland with everything but their noses buries under the blanket in the chilly autumn air, Regina pours Marian a glass of wine and settles down on the couch, deep in thought.

"Are you alright?" Marian asks, inching a bit closer in her concern.

"Fine," Regina replies. "Perhaps a bit tired. And you?"

Marian nods and confirms, "About the same. It's been a busy day."

In a split second, Regina makes her decision. She's been trying to avoid using magic after the furry-curse, as they've taken to calling it, drained most of her powers, but she thinks she's saved up enough for this. "Close your eyes for a moment," she orders the other woman. "I want to try something."

"Excuse me?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course," Marian replies immediately, "with my life. With my family's lives. I was merely surprised."

She immediately closes her eyes, smiling encouragingly, and her declaration fills Regina with such warmth that the light magic pours from her fingers with barely any effort at all. In less than a minute, the living room has transformed into a spa reminiscent of the ones she'd seen during one of her few visits to Sherwood, hopefully similar to what Marian may have had in her childhood castle, with a stone tub wrapped in vines of ivy at the center, powered by hot springs that Regina diverted from the waters of the wishing well. A fire crackles loudly in the corner with a pot of cocoa heating over it. The final touch is a magical massage table beside the couch, specially designed to loosen the tightest muscles painlessly.

Marian's jaw drops when she takes it all in. "You did all of this with _magic_?" she demands, her voice a disbelieving high-pitched squeak. "You did all of this for _me?_"

"Well, I...I, um..." Suddenly clamming up, Regina feels her face burn in embarrassment as her hands start to sweat. Is it too much? "I just thought you might need some help relaxing, and since you do so much to help everyone else, I decided...I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry! This is lovely," Marian insists, dipping one hand in the water and sighing blissfully. "But no one has ever done something like this for me before. Then again," she adds in a much softer tone, "no one has ever done a lot of the things you've done for me before."

Regina clears her throat uncomfortably. "Well, it's certainly a bit different from my dungeons, but it's all for you. Although, if you wanted to invite someone to join you, I wouldn't be opposed."

There's a moment when she's not sure what's going to happen next, when Marian is staring into her eyes with the same burning intensity that always makes Regina want to turn and flee, but then there's warm breath against her skin, drawing closer and closer, and then Marian's lips are pressed against hers and they're just as soft as she's ever imagined, and at the same time, just as firm and possessive as the Marian she's come to know, and Regina is kissing back with all of the fierceness of the love and desire lighting up her once cold, dark heart. "I've wanted to do this for a long time," she husks when they break apart.

"What stopped you?" Marian wonders. "The fact that I was married?" Then the laughs wickedly before Regina silences her with another kiss, and another. "I've wanted –" Marian inhales sharply as Regina sucks hard on the soft skin under her jaw "- I've wanted to kiss you since I saw you in that black corset."

"Which one? I can change into it right now."

Marian shakes her head, gasping for air. "Right now, the only thing I want you to change into is nothing."

"That can be arranged," Regina replies with an evil smirk. "Tonight is for you."

In between the soft moans that escape her throat as Regina's hands trace over her body, slowly working their way down the buttons of her shirt, Marian chuckles. "When I was a little girl, reading the epic love poems, I don't think I ever once imagined I'd feel this way being kissed by an evil queen."

"And I never imagined that I'd become the evil queen that preys on the beautiful, kind-hearted warrior maiden from the forest."

The next morning, when they wake up on the couch with their limbs intertwined and warm sticky skin pressed together, an excited Dalmatian yapping in their faces, they have to laugh.

Perhaps this isn't the kind of fairytale the bards will immortalize in poems and ballads for young girls to daydream about, but it's theirs. And they might just live happily (if absurdly) ever after.


End file.
